I can love. But I need his heart.

Mood okay
Wearing school uniform
Eating/Drinking cherry menthol chewing gum
Hearing Lamb - Gabriel
Dreamt about Nowt
Currently reading The Beach - Alex Garland (and yet again)
Present MSN name I don't want to need you, 'cos I can't have you.
Talking to No one.
Last text from Bone
Word of the Day heart

Okay. So I haven't been on in a while. So, so you guys can catch up; here's what I've done so far in the past two weeks.

I went to Willersly a few days after my last post and had an interesting time there. Lizzie doesn't seem to be talking to me, I found out something I didn't want to know about Emily, and Rachel's just Rachel. Ellie's been mooning after Jamie, which is fine, but she's actually making progress whih I'm happy about, but also I feel sad cos James and I are never going to go anywhere. (I take back my old comment, I really don't like him a lot. No longer a weak crush.)

Um, Jamie Souden is a very cool guy. Sam is okay, just a little lame at times. We spent the last night (me thinks) at Willersley doing a midnight walk (me, Ellie, Jamie, Rachel, Emily, Sam, Tim & Lizzie) with Sam with a hockey stick waking up the whole church by banging on the windows. Jamie was shitting himself cos he actually seemed quite scared, so that was funny, Tim was a jerk as usual and Lizzie was being dead wimpy (afraid of the bloody dark) along with Emily. So we go off down to the river and Tim starts pissing about and telling us all that the Predator is hanging about. I wasn't impressed, and Jamie starts swearing at Tim for being a bastard.
Anyway, it was a laugh. We all go back to Jamie's room, except for Emily and Tim who go to his room.
Jamie's room was so tiny! Anyway, we all sit down in his room, Jamie kics off his shoes and we just sit there. Eventually Jamie pokes us into talking and we start to loosen up a bit and start to have some fun. Jamie and Sam decide to drink some of the really manky UHT milk that we get given in our rooms which I aslo decide to have. Jamie and I are almost sick, but Sam carries on drinking the icky stuff. Then the boys get hungry and Sam decides to eat the sugar. Not surprisingly, he gets hyper and Jamie gets a bit sweaty because he promised Sam's mum that he wouldn't get him hyper over the break.
Then, one of the funniest things happened. Jamie gets really disturbed about the smell of his own trainers in the room and decided to just chuck them into his ensuite bathroom. We all hear a thud and a plop as he throws themin without looking. Of course, Jamie's thrown one of his shoes down the pan and had to go and retrieve it. He picks it up and tips it. A load of water comes out and we all just about piss ourselves laughing.

Eventually, we all decide to go up to mine and Ellie's room where there is a lot more space. We chat and end up using just about a whole bottle of my moisturising stuff while the guys go all 'poofy' on us and put make-up on. Emily comes back and walks into our room, not realising that Jamie and Sam are there and either is grinning or says something about Tim which could totally be taken the wrong way and Sam and Jamie piss about and Emily gets all embarassed. 'Twas hilarious. The guys end up nicking Emily's clothes from her's, Rachel's and Lizzie's room and put them on. Sam had Emily's night top on, under which he stuffed two glasses to make glass boobs and Jamie wore her underwear. We didn't stop laughing for ages.
After that it wasn't so good. There were parts that were funy which I'll mention some other time... So I'll summarise the last bit.
We end up having a long chatting session. Jamies gets pissed off at Sam cos Sam's so hyper. Jamie skulks off back downstairs to his room. I go down and find him, asking him if he's okay and if he wants to come back up, to which he doesn't. I go back upstairs, chat a bit more, get bored, sleep. The other carry on talking and they all end up sleeping in our room. I had to sleep in a single bed with Ellie who says I snore.
Not much else happens. We go for a swim in the morning and play pool. Then all off home.

I've gotta say though, I didn't enjoy the Christian part of the weekend much, however I was challenged by what was said and have decided that I want to change, get baptized, the works... Jamie has also become a Christian, which is really strange, but cool. And everything's good. Jamie has also given Bone his phone number and she consequently went mad. I'm happy for her.

I dunno what's up with Lizzie though.

What else has happened recently? Oh, I got my fencing shoes finally, which I'm so chuffed with. I also sold my old D'Artgonans to Jodie who apparently loves them and got £25 for them. Not bad, aye?

I also went to Bose & Tolani's on Friday and stayed the night. I was bribed with a meal out this weekend if I finished my English essay. Surprisingly, I didn't it just as my dad came to collect me. I gave it in to Mrs Bartholemew who said it was basically at A* standard. Again, chuffed.
Though, it was tough to do that essay. I had to do so much to be able to eat (didn't eat until about half nine?) and didn't sleep until I had so much done. We ate Nigerian food which I cooked up most of and was give ingredients for that dish the next morning. I love it!
So, I'm doing it again this Friday, staying over, finishing work. It'll be good, I reckon.

Had Sports Leadership today which was pretty cool, though I felt a bit ill cos of the painters & decorators who were supposed to have left two days ago, but made another appearence today and so I had to visit Mrs Digg (sp?) in the Medical room for things for my recovery.

Erm... anything else? Oh, had a minor argument with Flo, Cherry and Vamp the other day about James. I disagreed with them still, but Cherry said that she was sorry to me today, but subsequently went and said something else which I was a wee bit upset about which this whole Greg-band thing. Anyway, enough about that. I don't care.

Also found out bad news about le Beak and went with the girlies to see The Bully who said she'd help. Hmph.
I am not going to be there for le Beak in future. I will be a mate but will not listen to her problems anymore. She's taken advantage too many times, I'm afraid.

Erm, CSI news. The last epi was kinda crap as there wasn't even a bit of Grissom nor Sara. However I take this to be a good thing that there will be plenty of Geeklove in the next epi, Commited which I have seen the trailers for and I am dying to see. I'll download it on Friday morning.

Finally, seeing JY tomorrow and I can't wait. Mick won't be at fencing because his sciatic nerve is playing up and his idneys stopped working last week so he needs to rest up and recover. Fair enough. Oh, and he got my mask for me which I love. I only have a few more things to get now. :)
Also saw Mick tonight and have been give them thumbs up (kinda) about doing a fencing 'do' at school with the 'Fight Night' as I will call it, because I have the correct insurance for doing fencing nationally as long as my partner does also and I don't coach. I'm really happy about that. Just need to talk to James about it once I have a date for it.

Talking again of James, I should be getting some pics of him tomorrow; so I just hope that they'll be good ones. I imagine so.

I don't care about what everyone else thinks about him being 25, I'll bloody go for it. 'Of all the words of tongue or pen, the saddest are ''It could have been.'''
True. I'll go for it.